Justin Porter Stephens

A Speculative Wes Anderson Filmography, 2013-2075

A Bright Wall in a Dark Room’s imagining of the rest of his career. Highlights include:

The Last and Best of the Peter Pans (2017). The death of J.D. Salinger in 2015 at age 94 seems to have shaken Anderson and plunged him into a period of reflection. He isolates himself in an apartment in the Upper West Side of Manhattan for several months. The screenplay he emerges with is an account of a wealthy young heir (played by unknown John W. Stillman, Jr. in a breakout performance) who becomes the first male to graduate from a prestigious eastern women’s college and subsequently strikes up an odd friendship with a self-sacrificing Pakistani ice cream man in Central Park. Some hail it as a return to form. Detractors agree, noting it is a return to the very specific form of youthful, damaged elites in a romanticized New York City interacting with near-mute foreign-born stock characters. Reviews are mixed.

The Sisters Tagliatelli (2019). Anderson seemed here to be self-consciously addressing his reputation for consistently writing thinly developed female characters. “Three chic, mysterious women (Kat Denning, Kristen Stewart and Emma Watson) silently and mirthlessly sit around an apartment in Venice smoking for two hours and listening to Leonard Cohen,” complains one critic. “Barely a movie,” grouses another. The film is light on dialogue, heavy on “Famous Blue Raincoat.”

Seen Those English Dramas! (2037). A well-received 3D concert film of Vampire Weekend’s legendary thirtieth anniversary performance at Madison Square Garden. “Two timeless institutions make rock music history together,” enthuses one respected Internet commenter. “A bunch of twee old farts reliving the Noughties,” gripes a college-aged Internet commenter.